Back Around

I spent most of 1999 like every other teenage boy, searching for naked pictures of Britney Spears via the dial up interweb tube service. On one particular Friday night a promising link offered me all my hearts desire. Like Aladdin's lamp my wishes were granted. I clicked away and the link transferred me to a page filled with a bevy of nudity and grainy perhaps fake pictures of my lovely Britney nude. For a span of 10 very blurry minutes I was not a girl not yet a women.

Two weeks later with the fuzzy image still burned into my retina my dad came to me with the phone bill. What I did not realize was that upon clicking on said Britney link my phone line was transferred over to a phone number in Vanuatu.

sidenote of unrelated info- Brendan just started listening to "night swimming" by REM and writing in a journal. . .we're gonna need a bigger boat.

I was presented with the now 292 dollar phone bill and told to pay it lest I receive a parental beat down. 292 dollars was about what I made in 42 months at my wee movie theatre job, but nonetheless I payed up.

Cut to last week 2008 and my phone ringing with my mom on the other end asking me if I wanted to tell her about Vanuatu? Huh? How What? I am sorry Dad never told you but you can't possibly be upset about something that happened in 1999. A lawsuit? Your joking there is a lawsuit? A check? for me?

As it would happen, as I will explain. It seems the Federal trade commission had taken umbrage with the the practices of this Fraudulent Britney porn distributor in Vanuatu and brought up a law suit against them. The link it seems was some form of entrapment. Thusly, the company was forced to pay out a settlement to anyone who happened to go in search of naked Britney Spears in the middle of the Friday nights. So I was sent a check to redeem my 292 dollars of blood money...yeah blood money.

So thanks Britney Spears for returning my money. You can come home whenever you are ready.