I'm not saying I know how to have a good time, but

Found on my steps this morning.

Hobo drinking bing?

Me sleep drinking again?

Billy Dee Williams leaving me a message? I think you know the answer

$743

That is how much I owe in revised taxes. Goodbye iphone that can conjure Rhinos. Goodbye

You see I was always told things you did in the past never came back to haunt you. You lied fortune cookie, you lied. Now make me a sandwich.

I am eating at crepevine and barry bonds just walked into the restaurant i am freaking out.

A patient in the doctors office just asked if she could turn a trick to pay for her procedure... Oh boy.

ESPod

Do I have a male biological clock? I understand that strictly scientifically speaking my clock needs less cranking and will tick away longer. Nonetheless, since the only science I believe in is conducted by Beaker and Bunsen I recently found myself taking a trip upon the awkward turtle.

I take the bus to rehearsal. It is my leisure time post work. Grand... I know. I put on my sunglasses and ipod and just zone out for a good 45 mins. Last week though the train came to a jolt and I was forced to open my eyes to glare at what tourist was slowing my trip. Paying no attention to the prophetic Harry Chapin song warning in my head phones, I looked up and was greeted by the giant head of a baby staring at me.

Normally, would have paid no attention to the small bald wonder and gone about my glare spree. But my mouth stared to open and these words. These unintelligible words started to pour out. Then to top it all off while I was in the process of making some sort of monkey cross eyed face the pasty thing reaches its Quato hand out and grabs my finger.

Start the reactor Jason? Do I have to? Can't I just continue to do volunteer work at the reactor on weekends till I am at least forty?

There are 25 people in the audience. I just counted

Me and my makeup station at the show. I am going to update throughout the show