Number 3

I went to deposit 95 whole dollars to my account yesterday, two checks, 95 total. Resting upon the ATM and soon to jealously bitch slap me was someones, who we shall refer to as Bucket O' Fuck Head, account statement. Like a car accident you look.

130,896.65

That was just the checking. I am sure the savings just had a picture of the Monopoly Man on it.

I then continued my long days journey to Carls's Jr. My pride is short lived at best and onion rings are the hot new currency for fall